All posts under sonynex

350/365 Stay until lunch

Years ago, I saw an interview with someone who was or had been in Special Forces in the military. He talked about how hard training was and that he got through training by telling himself he was just going to stay until lunch. After lunch, he would mentally commit to[…]

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348/365 When we get angry

When we get angry, compassion is the first casualty. When you forget other people are people, you forget that those other lives are just as real and immediate as your own. They are constantly feeling, experiencing, reacting, just like you are. From “This Will Never Happen Again” by David Cain

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346/365 Doing what you hate

She fell in love with something at age 6 and she didn’t stop tap dancing until the day before she died at age 92. She died on a Monday morning, and the first thing we had to do was call her 100 students to say she wasn’t going to make[…]

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328/365 Away from negative ideas

Strengthening your ability to direct your focus away from negative ideas and events when such cogitation serves no purpose and to reframe setbacks as challenges or even opportunities helps you handle stress and approach life as a creation rather than a reaction. From “Rapt: Attention and the Focused Life” Winifred[…]

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327/365 Start and restart

On our self-change journey, we have to be prepared to forgive ourselves for our transgressions so that we are willing to try again. We will certainly have to try again many times. As I said before, even my simple strategy of just get started may have to be invoked many[…]

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326/365 The power of forgiveness

This finding reflects the power of forgiveness to move us from an avoidance motivation to an approach motivation. If, for example, you had a transgression (e.g., fight or broken promise) with a friend, and you or your friend had not offered forgiveness, you would likely avoid that friend. In the[…]

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325/365 Immediate mood repair

Giving in to feel good is a big piece of the procrastination puzzle, and the Internet provides lots and lots of short-term, but specious, rewards to which we can give in to feel good. With a click or two we can leave the task that we feel bad about and[…]

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322/365 Not the most convenient way

Here are a few typical reactions that researchers have catalogued as responses to dissonance (and ways that we reduce this dissonance): Distraction—we divert our attention away from dissonant cognitions and avoid the negative affective state caused by dissonance. Forgetting—can be in two forms, passive and active. Passive is often the[…]

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321/365 Be kind but firm with yourself

This self-change process is uneven. We truly do feel like one day we leap ahead and the next day we fall back. Although we have to be committed to change and firm in our efforts to be strategic, we also have to be kind to ourselves during this challenging process.[…]

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287/365 Creative imitation

In the early thirties IBM built a high-speed calculating machine to do calculations for the astronomers at New York’s Columbia University. A few years later it built a machine that was already designed as a computer—again, to do astronomical calculations, this time at Harvard. And by the end of World[…]

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